"Do I look fat?"

Now everybody's heard that at least once in their lifetime.
So let's go straight to the point:

What NOT to do:

• Pause
• Stutter
• Take too much time looking at her before answering; this means you are scrutinizing her curves
• If you don't like what she's wearing, don't make a face
• Say yes

What to do:

• Always anticipate her question by giving her compliments as soon as she walks in; the "noooooo" that follows her question will always sound credible
• Be believable when saying "No" if the above didn't apply
• If you don't like what she's wearing, propose something else while expressing how you love to see her in it
• Smile with admiration

"Are you gonna watch the game tonight?"

The football game is on tonight... she is probably not too happy about it probably because she feels like she is not getting enough attention so she tries to get ur attention
She starts asking questions like: What r u thinking right now? Why are u pissed? Do u wanna order smth to eat? Can u mute! that guy's voice is annoying! What's his name?? The hot one!!!!!
If your team is not playing, then don't watch it. It will save u the trouble.

If it is then we know its an ugly situation but this might prevent it from getting uglier

What NOT to do:

• Ask her to prepare snacks
• Ask her to get u stuff
• Snap at her
• Respond with "AT HALF TIME"
• Comment on the women in the audience
• Respond with "What??? Yea yea"
• Let her tidy up after the game is over 

What to do:

• Give her ur full attention before the game 
• Make her feel she is one of the 'understanding' ones just before the game
• Explain to her in specific details all there is about football that she would not want to hear or ask about it
• Give her as much attention as u can at halftime

Good night and good luck